After a life of indifference, I finally CARE!



The bald guy with the gut....that's the 2010 Kristin

Last year I was feeling physically subpar and emotionally crummy pretty much all the time when it came to the topic of my body.

I knew exercise would give me more energy. I knew that eating more natural foods and having discipline with my sweets and junk intake would help me feel better and help me fit into my clothes. I knew that the campaigning about women accepting and loving their bodies didn't equate to eating pans of brownies and saying it's okay because I love myself. I knew enough about health and nutrition to know that I was headed down the wrong road, a road that was setting an unacceptable example for my kids.

Then WHY did it feel like I was facing an impossible mountain to make some changes? Why did I feel like I was setting myself up for failure and disappointment? Why did I feel so scared to just take an honest look at how my habits(big and small) were affecting my overall and longterm health?

The answer is obviously complicated but if you can relate to any of those feelings let me be the first to say I UNDERSTAND!!! The answer as I see it, though complicated, in its own way is also pretty simple. A big part of it has to do with accountability.

It is easier to say I'm okay with a few extra pounds than to admit that it's more than just 2 or 3 but closer to 30+. It's easier to say that "those" people at the gym are just ego obsessed maniacs who don't have any other meaning in their pathetic lives. It's easier to say I don't have the time, money, energy(insert word here) to exercise and eat healthy. I've got more of these up my sleeve because they are all things that I have thought or said.

Sometime not too long ago I told my friend Sha that(and I quote)  "I'm more comfortable with some extra chub on me" and I continued by explaining how when I am thinner I actually feel less comfortable in my own skin. Of course that and all of this is nonsense. Every single one of my excuses (and possibly any that you have come up with for yourself) come from a place of insecurity. Like a little demon inside that whispers, screams, sooths, lies, taunts, justifies, criticizes, excuses and continually leaves us feeling like we aren't good enough so why try.....

I'll tell you why! Because you are amazing and deserve to feel confident, capable, strong, and in control of your choices and life!! God gave you that body as a gift. Treat it right and it will be the vessel God intended for you to fulfill your mission in this life.

I know what you're saying. CHEESE FEST 2011. I know, I know.  I've heard things like that all my life and I never really thought I wasn't living up to it. I mean I didn't really consider my lack of focus on my immediate physical health as affecting my confidence, capabilities, or life's direction. But I now know it's all connected.

When I say my brain is rewired I don't mean I now spend my day thinking about my body as a gift from God and how amazing I am and how I deserve to feel, etc. I do try to remind myself of that when I'm feeling frustrated but what I mean by my brain being rewired is just that where I used to tell myself I didn't care, I now very firmly CARE.

I care that the more sedatary I am the more muscle I lose. I care that salty and sweet processed food reak havok on my insides. I care that my belly fat is literally working everyday to poisen my liver, heart, and countless other vital organs. Basically I finally CARE about my body and though I didn't realize it, my previous habits and actions were the opposite of caring; something more like hacking days off my life and livelihood. Yeah, I'm sounding pretty intense here but I honestly never knew just how bad all those "bad" foods and habits were until I took the time to really become educated.

So call me scared straight but I have to tell you I'm so grateful I started to care before I was over 200 pounds and in my 30's; two numbers I was(weight) and am(age) quickly approaching. I try to think about my daily choices as whether or not I am honoring the body I was given by God. It's a bit lofty but also helps my head stay in the right place when I feel like storming the town for cake, any and all. Golly, I do love cake BUT I've put it in the only healthy place it can be in my life, as the occasional once a week at the most treat(not the daily norm it used to be). That's how I am striving to honor my body.

I honor my body by fueling it with nutrient dense power foods.
I honor my body by challenging and strengthening my muscles.
I honor my body by pushing it; blood pumping, heart strengthening.
I honor my body by giving it recovery and rest.
I honor my body by striving to do these things every day.
And then my body honors me with energy, agility, peace, (etc); an amazing vessel to truly live in.

I don't feel like that every minute of the day but I still know that it is a true principle to live by and I find myself aligned with this focus more and more with time. It amazes me to express these feelings because my old feelings of frumpy dumpiness are still so fresh and the change has been so gradual I'm only starting to see it blossom after 5 months of consistency and hard work.

I know it's cliche but no cliche has ever been so true: If I can do it, SO CAN YOU! I never expected to CARE like I now CARE. This blog is all about continuing my journey and inviting others to CARE with me.